Wonder

Over and over
You fill my heart with wonder
You take me by surprise
I can't believe my eyes

Wider and deeper
Just when I think I've seen ya
Like a stone thrown into the ocean water
I can search your depths and never hit rock bottom

Deep in me you created a fire
Like a flame you keep taking me higher
Up and up, and it grows
Where it stops only Heaven knows

Once again, I am going to speak in song! The lyrics above are from a song by Jimmy Needham called Rock Bottom...about how we think we have found God and know God, but we actually never do and never will, His love keeps going deeper and deeper never hitting rock bottom. Before going on this trip, I thought I knew Gods love...I just thought having these doubts and fears about Haiti were normal and wouldn't go away. Yet again, God has surprised me by peeling back another layer of his love.


I made it home safely early this morning and had an AMAZING trip. All of my fears that I discussed in the previous post were put to rest. The trip confirmed in me that this is where God wants me for this season. I knew He put this fire in me to go to Haiti, but I was unsure of how strong it would be. Well, this trip made me realize he is making the flame higher and higher, to heights I can't even fathom. All of the doubts and fears I had about my ability to do this task, if I will even be good enough, and if I would be accepted in Haiti were all extinguished. I left Haiti with a peace and excitement about going back in August that can only be explained by God...filling my heart with wonder.

A quick story to prove this point:

The night before I was about to leave Haiti, we went to say goodbye to the girls at the Good Samaritan Home. I was hesitant and nervous because seeing them earlier in the trip, I didn't feel connected. The language barrier, age (that awkward middle school phase), me being a new person they can't trust yet, and walls they have rightfully built up because of their past experiences left me feeling unwanted, scared, discouraged, and uncertain of the role I was to play in the girls' future. I didn't want to leave on this note.

Well, God certainly showed up...upon entering the house and saying goodbye, the girls began warming up to me. They said their goodbyes and when it was translated to them that I would be coming back in August for two years, there were cheers and smiles! Drew, who is living in Haiti now, said he hasn't seen the girls that happy in a long time. Wow!!! All because of the news that I was coming back...back to share their life with them and teach them about how loved and special they are. These words don't do any justice to what this experience was actually like and how it made me feel, but below I posted a clip of the girls singing happy birthday to Mama Deb! Here is just a taste of the love and desire they have in their hearts to love and be loved. I can't wait to go back and do life alongside of them!

And PS - I will be posting lots of fun pictures and stories of the trip over the coming days and weeks. Stay tuned!