Heartbreak

To me, most people would think of heart break in Haiti for the multitudes of children who are roaming around hungry, or the children in orphanages without parents, or the mothers who live in an 8 x 10 ft tent with 4 children.

But recently, my heart has not been breaking for them as much. My heart has been breaking for the men of Haiti, specifically, the men of Canaan.

Today, I was out in Canaan doing some more finishing work on the medical center.

Drilling, hammering, screwing.

As I began working, one man showed up, then two, then four, then eight. After about an hour of these men literally standing over my shoulder and watching me work, Jeff asked Jacque (one of our Haitian employees) to tell the men they must go. There is no work for them.

Unfortunately, this isn't something that just happened today. It is an everyday occurrence...men standing around, eager to help, waiting for work.

And turning them away isn't something that just happened today either. It HAS to happen every day. We can't possibly hire every Haitian man that comes along. And even if we could hire more than the 4-5 Haitian men we already employ, who do you hire? Where do you draw the line? Who gets the job and who doesn't?

I realize the necessity in this. The need to be patient to produce a long-lasting, sustainable community. The need to follow procedures and have Pastor Nathan do the hiring since he knows these men, he knows the culture. It keeps things running safe, effective, and in line with our mission.

But it's sure not easy.

Not easy to see the pain in a mans eyes because he can't get work to provide for his family. Not easy to smile and say hello, but tell them "no" as they go to pick up a hammer to help me with my project. Not easy to wonder what is going through their head as they stand and watch me do something they probably could do just as well. Not easy to see the desperation...that these men would do anything, even show up every day over-and-over knowing the answer of work is "No" but still holding out hope. My heart breaks for him. For them.

But I continue...drilling...hammering...screwing.

And with each movement, I gain intensity, filling up hope inside of me that if somehow we can get this done faster, more jobs will be created. A medical center with opportunity for work. And eventually a training center for men to learn construction skills, business skills, and basic building skills (furniture, carpentry, etc). Maybe the harder I work, the closer we get to those days.

Drill. Hammer. Screw.

Break my heart for what breaks Yours.